Happy (Way Belated) Thanksgiving

Everyone has traditions they follow, no matter how big or small. One tradition my family has (or in this case had) was everyone come together at my Grandmom's house and have a big Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room. Well, ever since my Poppy died, it seems all traditions have been lost. We no longer eat in the dining room. Instead we set up a brown folding table in the family room like we did when I was younger for Friday night dinners. We're not allowed to make shells and cottage cheese, which is a dish Poppy and my dad made for Easter and Christmas Eve. And I am not talking about stuffed shells. Poppy was Russian and Polish and stuffed shells is Italian. Shells and cottage cheese is exactly that. Little shells with fried onions and cottage (pot) cheese. Best food I've ever had in my life. It's sad to see such traditions go down the drain. Luckily, my dad feels the same way and is doing everything he can to keep the traditions Poppy started alive.

Things I'm thankful for this year: family (no matter how crazy they are), friends, the opportunity to become friends with two great people, having a job, having a certain boy back in my life, the ability to have second (and third, fourth, etc) chances, a country where I am able to speak my mind, those who are fighting to protect this land so I can speak my mind, the opportunities I've had in my life, the education I received, a house (well my parent's house), food, clothing, and I know there's alot more.

It feels like I've been punched in the stomach

The one thing I love about today: Watching a 2007 Phillies game vs the Mets and hearing the late, great Harry Kalas.

The past two days have been days where either you a)want to punch something or b)feel like the one being punched. As I probably have mentioned before, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I got my chance at what I've always wanted, but I guess the timing just wasn't right. I guess I just have to keep patiently waiting.

Don't have an interesting title for this one. It just is what it is.

Someone finally took a chance one me and it feels good. Well, actually a few people took a chance on me and I was feeling nice enough to reciprocate the chance.

A lot was going on for me personally for a while. I still see certain things not changing, which is making me feel like I did before, but hey, it's only been a few weeks. Things could still change.

As for professionally, I was finally hired and started work last Monday. Tomorrow will be my second week on the job. So far it seems like fun, but I am still in training. I am working for a marketing/seo firm which is something I wanted to do (okay not my first choice since that would be working for the Phillies). It's pretty relaxed and I love the people I'm training with.

I'm just excited that a company was willing to take a chance on me. It actually feels like I'm a someone again. Not just a worthless bump on a log. It's a good feeling. Now I just hope this feeling lasts.

Sometimes all you need is someone to have your back and believe in you when you don't believe in yourself.

I've gone through alot in the past month or so. Alot of ups and (mostly) downs. My friends had my back no matter what. It's a great feeling knowing that those who care about you put everything they have into making sure you are okay.

In this past month I have definitely restored some friendships. I learned that these people will always have my back. They may not always agree with my choices, but will support me because they know I am following my heart and my head with the decisions I am making.

Only these people could see that I was not okay, that I was hiding behind a fake smile and just saying I was okay. I felt if I said I was okay, I would actually make myself believe I was okay. But I learned this doesn't work. I need to be honest with myself and those I care about. That's what got me in trouble. Just hiding behind a fake smile and pretending all was okay.

While this post may be all over the place (which I am sorry for) take this. Don't hide bottle up how you are feeling and act like everything is okay if it isn't. You are not only hurting yourself, but those who really do care about you.

Welcome to Red (Doc)tober

Red October: What Philadelphia fans have been calling the month of October since 2007, which is when the Phillies returned to the playoffs.

What a year 2007 was. The Phillies won their first division title since 1993 and the fans were hungry for a championship. However, being newbies to this whole playoff thing, and facing a red-hot team, the Phillies lost in the National League Divisional Series (NLDS).

2008: Phillies clinch the National League East division for the second year in a row, this time on September 27th. Welcome to the playoffs again.  This time around we sweep through the NLDS and onto the NLCS, where we clinch the National League pennant. Onto the World Series. This is uncharted waters for most fans. The last time the Phils were here, we lost to the Jays in 1993. The last time we actually won a World Series? Why that was 1980, our only championship season. That is until now. Brad Lidge striking out Tampa Bay Ray's Eric Hinske and falling to the ground with Carlos 'Chooch' Ruiz running out to him. History made. Phillies win their second world championship. Major celebrating with a parade down Broad St. in Philadelphia.

2009: Phillies reach the post season for the third straight year, again capturing the NL East title. Breeze our way through the NLDS and NLCS. Why we make it back to the World Series. This time we are facing the devil...I mean the New York Yankees. (Sorry to any Yankee fans, but I have a deep deep hatred against your team, and in fact any NY team, although I do like the Jets). No one could believe we made it to the World Series in back to back years. Too bad we lost this time.

2010: Another clinch of the NL East. Only this time around we have a new leader on the mound. This would be one Roy 'Doc' Halladay. This is the first time in his career Halladay made the post season. He signed with Philly after leaving the only baseball home he had ever had, the Toronto Blue Jays. Halladay was hungry for a taste of the post season. Well...I don't think anyone could have scripted it any better. Doc throws a no-hitter in his first ever playoff appearance. Too bad we didn't make it to the World Series. No, Ryan Howard buried that chance by striking out looking to end our hopes. Chooch promises Halladay a WS ring the next season. And we all say Welcome Doctober.

2011: A new year and the Phillies have what is to be described as one of the best rotations in the history of baseball. Roy Halladay is back. Phillies re-sign Cliff Lee after he scourned the Yankees and decided to come back to the City of Brotherly Love after playing here for only half a season in 2009. He came here for less money because he felt he had a better chance of winning a title. Roy Oswalt is another veteran we have. Cole Hamels, former WS MVP and a number 1 starter on almost any other team, is our number 4 starter. Then we round out our rotation with Joe Blanton, the only other member of this rotation with a WS ring. Blanton goes down, and Vance 'Vanimal' Worley enters. No one would know what this kid (and yes I can call him that) could do. He only put up numbers to enter his name into the Rookie of the Year talks. Our lineup on the other hand...wow. Chase Utley was not in the opening day lineup. Hunter Pence was a welcome addition at the trade deadline. With Pence in place, our lineup was only together for less than two weeks this season. Yet Charlie Manuel led this team to the best record in baseball (102-60), the most wins in franchise history (102), became the Phillies all time winningest manager (646 wins), and another NL East title. Tonight begins what we call another Doctober. Halladay takes the mound in game 1 against the Cardinals, who won the Wildcard after the Braves historic collapse. Game number 162 of the season was a wild one for both the NL and AL.

All I know is the hunt for our third World Series appearance in four years starts tonight. Halladay will look to repeat his performance last year. He's ready to kill Cesar, not praise him. Tomorrow Lee takes the mound and I will get to experience my 1st ever in person playoff game. Hamels and Oswalt follow it up. Hopefully, we only need three games to destroy Cesar and the rest of the red birds.

Get to know me

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Life as I know It

I believe everything happens for a reason. I love that these random things happen and cause good and happiness. What I don't understand is why these random things cause heartache and unhappiness. I'm going through the latter right now. Just sitting here wondering when things will get better for me. I'm tired of sitting here in uncertainty. I want to move on with my life. I'm ready to make that jump into the professional "real" world everyone talks about. I just need someone to take a chance on me. I'm ready for that next moment. Someone please just take a chance on me.

What's Next?

Ok Mother Nature. You gave the East Coast an earthquake last week (which btw, I'm still upset I was in the Atlantic Ocean and didn't feel it), and now Hurricane Irene and tornadoes. What are you going to give us next? I know it's not winter yet, but feel free to dump a bunch of snow on us while you are at it. Does that work for you?

But thank you for not ruining the Jersey Shore and not ruining my house or anything like that. It's greatly appreciated. And for my friends who you caused trouble too all i can do/say is *sticks tongue out out at*. Now fix it!

So much for a weekend

Stupid Hurricane Irene is wrecking havoc on plans for this week for mainly everyone on the East Coast. I was supposed to be leaving tonight for Wilmington, NC, where Irene is currently hitting. Needless to say, I am not going to Wilmington to see One Tree Hill filming :(. My backup plan for this weekend was to meet Phillies relief pitcher Michael Stutes. However, the Phillies rescheduled their Sunday game into a day/night double header tomorrow. So much for my backup plan.  The only plan I have now is to stay safe and watch Jersey Shore Sunday night. This Ronnie/Situation fight better be worth it.

Finally done!

I finally received my diploma today! I am finally done with school. Hello real world!

A Phillies Fan in Baltimore

So as part of my graduation gift from my boyfriend, I was able to spend the day in Baltimore (B-more as I have since been calling it since freshman year at York College) and go to an Oriole's game against the Blue Jays.

We left around 10am and pulled into the Hyatt parking garage at noon. Just an FYI...if you ever park there, expect to pay $27 if you are there for more than 5 hours.  As we're walking down the street the first thing we see is Camden Yards and a bunch of Ravens jerseys. Little did we know the Ravens were holding open practice/meet and greet at M&T Bank Stadium. No big deal. We continue discussing what we (I) want to do.

We finally decided to go to the Sports Museum and Babe Ruth Birthplace Museum. We walk into the Sports Museum and buy tickets ($12 a piece for both places, not a bad deal). We both found the Sports Museum to be really cool. I definitely think its a place I want to go back to a take my dad. The first floor was all Oriole's stuff (I personally was upset by seeing the 1983 World Series trophy since the O's beat the Phillies). Downstairs was all Maryland athletes/colleges. A short walk upstairs brought you to the Baltimore Colrs/Ravens section.

From there, we walked the 2 and a half block to Babe Ruth's birthplace. Kinda boring. The only interesting thing that happened was a guy commented me on the shirt I was wearing. He was a Phillies fan and I had on a Halladay Blue Jays t-shirt. I must say, people in Baltimore are more friendly than us fans here in Philly. But I wouldn't change our passion for anything.

At this time, it was about 2:30/3 o'clock and we were hungry. A friend of mine was in the city a few weeks ago and highly recommended Pratt St. Ale House. So, that's where we went. Food was amazing. We got cheese fries as an app and they were to die for. I then got the Panko Crab Cakes (appetizer). These were three little crab cakes, but mixed with the fries, was just the right size for lunch. Plus, they were also to die for.

Since we still had time to kill before the game started we took a walk down to the Inner Harbor. I wanted to go to Top of the World, which is on the 27th floor of the World Trade Center. Not to sound racist or anything, but you would think they would have more security than what they did. But anywho....this was a great place to see all of Inner Harbor, and to see how many miles you are from other major cities throughout the world. After we got done there, we walked around to the other side of the harbor and walked up Federal Hill. This was a beautiful park (if you don't mind walking up hill) and you got a great view of the harbor.

The weather was amazing that day. Until we got to the stadium. After going through the gates, we went to the Oriole's store, saw the end of batting practice, and then up to our seats. Sure enough as soon as we get to the seats, tarp comes on and the rain comes. Hour and 15 minute rain delay. Rain continues off and on the rest of the game. Orioles win 6-2. As a fan of the National League, I kept waiting for there to be a double switch, pinch hitter, something. But no. Darn you American League and your designated hitter.

To kill some time after the game, we went back to the Hyatt and had a drink. (well...Boyfriend drank, I didn't). According to him it was an overpriced drink but still good.

Overall, it was an awesome day. Not once did I feel like something would happen to either one of us. Police were out everywhere and the Hyatt had security walking in the parking garage. The city itself was also very clean. There's a few things we didn't get the chance to do (Geppi's, Aquarium), but since it's only a two hour drive we can go back and do another day trip. The only thing we would have done different is, we would have gotten a hotel room to spend the night.

Excited

While most of you know (or have read previous posts), I absolutely hate the month of August. However, I found a bright spot. I'm finally going to Wilmington, NC at the end of the month to see One Tree Hill film.  This is something I wanted to do since I heard this would be the last season (starting in January 2012). Well...I've wanted to go for a few years now, but this would actually be my last chance to see the actually filming, not just where they filmed.  Another cool thing is Wilmington is where the filmed Dawson's Creek, which I loved watching when I was growing up (and in all honesty, it was probably too mature for me at my age, but me and my mom watched it together so oh well).

But I'm just really excited. And since I'm also into scrapbooking, I was thinking of making a plain one to take just in case I'm able to get any autographs.

Little known facts about me

I never liked the month of August, mainly because it meant the end of summer. Now I really hate it because it is a month of death. Within less than 3 weeks of each other in 2010 I lost my dog and my grandfather. There's not a day I don't think about either one of them.

I'm just like my grandfather and father in certain mannerisms.

I look just like my dad.

I hate wearing glasses, but can't wear contacts, and am too afraid of surgery.

I love road trips, and wish I could take more of them.

I have a short temper that gets me in trouble with friends. But when I'm able to get away and clear my mind, I'm okay. I just need space.

Scrapbooking helps clear my mind.

I wish I exercised more and enjoyed running. I just need more motivation.

I feel like as I'm growing older I'm losing friends who I thought were close to me. However, I feel like I become closer to my friends who I don't talk to/see all the time.

There's many things I wish to accomplish/see in my life and I'm afraid I won't get to do them all.

I just read the entire Harry Potter series in under three weeks. 

From my previous statement, you can tell I enjoy reading. However, that was not always the case. Reading is more fun when you're not forced to do it.

My favorite time of the year is late September/early October when it's still warm out but starting to get colder.

I played softball from the time I was 5 until I was 22. The only reason I stopped was because I wouldn't be on campus my final semester of college. The only time I don't miss playing is when the temperatures are 85+ degrees outside.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I met my boyfriend 4 days before my grandmother died. Without even knowing me that well, he was there for me more than anyone else...and we weren't even together. He's been there for me everyday since.

If I ever move down South, it would be for one of two reasons: (1) I was offered a job (2) sweet tea.

My two favorite shows are NCIS and One Tree Hill. And both happen to air on Tuesdays at 8pm. This causes a major dilemma for me.

I love wedding shows. But I really should stop watching them until I get engaged. (I type this as I watch Four Weddings on TLC).

Jersey Shore is a guilty pleasure TV show.

I love meeting athletes and getting their autographs. 

One of my favorite memories growing up was going to my grandparents house every Saturday and my Pop Pop would always have cracker barrel cheese in the house for me. He would always cut me some and make me a Shirley Temple. Now we just have weekly lunches :)

Similar to any other Jersey girl, I love being tan. However, I refuse to fake bake or spray tan. I just tan very well in the summer out in the sun and it lasts all year. Gotta love the Italian blood.

I grew up with TGIFridays on ABC and '90s Nickelodeon shows. I still reference them. I also believe I learned most of life's lessons from Boy Meets World and Mr. Feeny.

I absolutely love pepperoni cheese steaks from Jimmi's Pizzeria.

June 2011 in Photos

Graduation parties, Phillies games, Weddings, and Orange County Choppers

This is kind of how I feel with my life right now.  I just feel like I have nothing going on and nothing to look forward to.  I'm getting down on myself about not having a job, which is frustrating.  My friends (who are also unemployed for the most part) always want to go out and try to force me to go out even though I really have no money; and the money I do have I want to save so I can do something more fun than just going out to a bar to drink.

I want to be able to go places and have fun with what I'm doing. I'm tired of living with my parents. I want the next part of my life to start. That can't (or at least won't) happen until I get a job.  My boyfriend and I decided we would start talking about the future once I graduated school...now it's we'll talk about the future once I find a job. I just feel like that will never happen.

It's like I told my boyfriend last night. I'm just going to start applying to jobs I'm qualified for and interested in no matter where the position is located. It's not like I have anything going for me in my current location at this point.

Things that annoy me...(in no particular order)

Hypocrites
Liars
Cheaters
People who don't push their chairs in after getting up from a table
People who don't turn their blinkers off
People who are more than 15 minutes late...really how hard is it to show up when you say you will
Not calling/texting when you say you will...I shouldn't have to wait by the phone all night for you
Not telling me the entire truth...either tell me everything...or nothing...either way I'll be mad
People who don't give credit where credit is due

Funny Why Things Happen

Today I was at Mass with my Grandmom. She was having the Mass said for my Poppy who passed away in August at the age of 87.  It was a typical Mass, nothing out of the ordinary. However, as my Grandmom and I were about to leave, this lady came up to us. She said she normally didn't talk to people at Church, but for some reason she felt she had to come over and share a story with us.

She told us of a couple who became pregnant, only to find out that once the child was born, (s)he would not live more than 48 hours.  The couple decided to carry the fetus to term and when the child was born the entire family was in the room celebrating his/her birth.  They passed the laughing and smiling baby from family member to family member. Within the 48 hours, the child died, just as what was told to the parents earlier. But the joy the family got was something they would never forget. And it taught them never to take a day for granted.

Today would have been my Poppy's 88th birthday.  There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss him and wish he were still here. I'm lucky. I was able to have him in my life for 24 years. I have so many memories with him, mainly from the fact that him and my Grandmom took care of me growing up and I practically lived with them every summer while I was growing up.  I know it's not possible, but I wish I could have him back here with me for another 24-88 years. I just wish I had one more day with him. One more day to say thank you for everything, to hug him (which was a rarity in the family), or to say I love you one more time. I never should have taken him or my Grandmom for granted these ast 24 years.

While Poppy may be gone, there's not something that reminds me of him. I was at Friendly's with my friends and saw an advertisement for the watermelon rolls they sell. Well, in the summer when I was younger, he would buy my one.  So naturally I ended up getting a watermelon slice.  There's also all the times he took me fishing at the lake across the street from my house.  We never used worms, always frozen hot dogs (and yes, we did catch fish). Or the times we went out on my uncle's boat and my dad and uncle would be making fun of me, Poppy was always the one to stick up for me. While we had our differences and fought, that's who we were, two stubborn people, in his case a stubborn Russian Pol, in my case a stubborn Russian Pol with some Italian and other nationalities thrown in for good measure.

I also learned more about my aunt who died shortly after she was born. While I don't know the entire story, I know my Grandmom has regrets.  After hearing that lady's story at Church earlier, it just make me wonder what it would be like to have another Aunt. And would I have cousins?

You don't know what's going to happen in your life. I thought Poppy would be around forever, I mean he didn't get to see me receive my Master's degree and he'll never see me get married. But I guess I'm lucky.  Alot of people's grandparent's don't even get to see them receive their bachelor's degree. I just keep telling myself now that Poppy and Mom Mom both have the best seats in the house to watch me continue growing up.

Lesson of the: just enjoy life for what it's worth and never take anything for granted. Also, tell the people who matter the most to you that you love them as often as you can because you never know when you won't get the chance to again.

Why Hello, June. Nice to See You.

It's officially June.  After looking at what I have going on this month, I hope I don't get to burnt out.  I have something going on every weekend except for this one coming up.  I'll try to post pictures after each weekend so you can all live in the fun.

But to start off, here's what I had/have going on.

New York for a retirement party, a wedding, two graduation parties, Phillies games, and a benefit/scholarship dinner. I think that's all for now. Oh yea...and Father's Day.

This past weekend I headed north for the day to go to my Uncle's retirement party.  We got there a little bit early so we went to where the film Orange County Choppers, which was located about ten minutes from where the party was being held. Hello new experience and feeling totally out of place.  But seeing the types of bikes they built was truly a great experience, especially seeing all the custom made ones including ones for the NYPD, FDNY, Santa, Lance Armstrong and the LiveStrong Foundation, Make a Wish, and the Christopher Reeve Foundation.  Once we finished up there, we headed off to the party, where I got to see my family and some of their friends/neighbors who I haven't seen in what seems like forever. It was great seeing everyone and catching up.

Hello Real World

I finally did it. I graduated with my Master's Degree. After two (long and stressful) years, and many friendships made, I am finally done. I never would have been able to do it without my classmates who became a second family, my friends, my family, and my boyfriend.

To my classmates: We did it! You became a second family to me. We stressed out about Lee and Meric's class and had fun at Landmark. While we may not remember all the lessons we were taught, I'm pretty sure we'll remember Dr. Parker and his lack of computer use.

To my friends: I'll finally be able to hang out again.  Thanks for your patience and support while I did this! Nick...this means I better be seeing more of you!

To my family: I never would have gotten this far in life without any of you. You have been my biggest cheerleaders and supporters no matter what. Whether it was school or sports, you were always there for me.  Mom Mom and Poppy...I wish you could have been here last night to see my walk across that stage.  I know you were looking down smiling and saying that's our granddaughter though. I miss each of you more and more each and everyday.

To my boyfriend: You're the best. You were always there telling me I could do it even when I had no faith in myself. Thanks for being a great cheerleader for me. And no...you're not allowed to mooch off me :)

It was six years ago I graduated from GCHS, two years ago from YCP, and now from RU.  I don't know what I'm going to be doing going forward but I know I'll have the same support system cheering me on and having faith in me even when I don't. I love all of you and there's no words I can say to show you how much I owe to you.